Tag: women

Every woman needs a shrink!

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When your somebody’s wife & a little person’s mama there’s a filter that is necessary to navigate through life.

In fact, this filter extends to every woman who is just trying to make through her day and navigate a web of responsibilities.

I’m not a perfect person so I watch my swear words in front of the kids of course….But that’s not the filter I’m talking about.

This about saying what you want to say in the most out loud #nofilter way. Journaling, is the certainly a thing but it’s a one way conversation. Having a shrink, is such an empowering experience. For 50 minuets, it’s all about how to make you better. How to get out your own way.

Photo credit: She’s Gotta Have It -Netflix

There are so many people who don’t want to talk about mental health. But it’s not, optional. There a saying, that you can’t pour from an empty cup. So whether or not your nurturing your career, a relationship, friendships, or children, you DESERVE to have unbiased insight to help you thrive.

My first experience with a counseling was in college. Physiology 101, you got extra credit for every session you attended at the counseling center. This way Ph.D students could practice on you. Ok cool! Well after my about 10 minutes in the first session, The student said “ummm wait right here.” An older woman walked in and said “I’m going to be taking over from here.”

After about 5 sessions and 25 bonus points later, I had talked through my issues with father and I had never felt better. Of course, I needed more sessions but the semester was over.

I would tap into counseling services a couple more times while in college. When adulting kicked in, I quickly figured out how to use my mental health benefits at work.

Photo credit: Insecure - HBO

Here’s the thing, we all have our own brand of cray cray. Why exhaust the people you love with your rants. It’s cool for a while, but it gets old. Save yourself and the people you love and find someone to talk to.

Love,

SFCG

Love. Laugh. Eat. Repeat. 

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Everyone who knows me best, knows I have flare for the dramatic! So at end of the year, I can hear the cast from RENT singing those legendary words “how do you measure a year?” Undeniably this has been a tough year in a LOT of ways. Equally, in an attempt to offset some hard ships it has been a year of incredible experiences. Funny how life works that way …

All over facebook, Instagram, or your social media preference of choice people try to sum up the year in only 9 pictures. Think about it… how many pictures are currently in your camera roll? Mine has 723 pictures from this year alone (ok I’ll subtract out a few random selfies). The thought of my year summarized in ONLY 9 pictures was giving me anxiety and for good reason.

When I looked back on 2017, there were a few common threads that have over shadowed the weight of the world around me. Love, Laughter, & Food. I think you would have to agree, that the best times in your life this year revolved around these 3 things. So to close the door on 2017 and only carry the things that have brought me joy into 2018 … Ladies & Gentleman my top 9 -ish.

LOVE…

  • My grandmother is 96 and still wears red lipstick
  • My hubby is the strongest most sincere man I know
  • My mom is my rock! I’m talking Gibraltar
  • My Sisi is ride or die — She’s basically my Solange

LAUGH…

As my Grandma Cox would say “my God we we’ve had some good times.”

2017 ran the spectrum from D.C. to Thailand, Janet Jackson to Bruno Mars, Ghost Tours to Arcades. I can honestly say I have shared some incredible laughs this year.

We were laughing so hysterically at the Brazilian steak house the table next to us gave the waiter $$ to but towards our meal because “we just looked like we were having a great time.”

Bar crawls to the blues, 2017 has taught me that a flexibility will always guarantee a great time.

“I’m here for a good time, not long time” – DRAKE

EAT…

This will come as no surprise that the most interesting food I’ve eaten this year was in Thailand. I no longer feel like a complete alien in my local Asian market. Who know that you were suppose to leave the roots on the cilantro to use in your soup stock. While I’m at it, how come no one told me cilantro & coriander were the SAME THING!

And just as I expected Sushi is so must more amazing in SE Asia (duh) and Thai hot and regular hot are not the same thing!

So thank you Thailand you take the top 9 most delicious things I’ve eaten this year.

REPEAT ….

SEASONS OF LOVE

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

Five hundred twenty-five thousand moments so dear

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets

In midnights, in cups of coffee

In inches, in miles

In laughter, in strife

In five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure a year in the life

How about love?

How about love?

How about love?

Measure in love

Seasons of love

Seasons of love

Cheers,

Southern Fried City Girl

A Southern Girl in Thailand

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I was invited to join a friend for her 40th Birthday Girls trip to Thailand. It didn’t take me long to say yes. In fact, within a week I had already secured support staff (my hubby & mom) to hold down the fort for 12 days.

4 months seemed to creep by I was so excited I had nothing else to do with my energy but google. Yes, Google (verb). I googled everything from the weather in the region to our choices for day trips. Although I had nothing to plan, the planner in me was still planning. I guess in my mind all those years my mama told me that God blesses a prepared heart, she was actually talking about this moment. Not career choices or late night partying back in college. Nope, she was talking about traveling halfway around the world and leaving your family behind (picture her saying it as you read this). So I knew the one thing I had to do was return safely. If I had come back to the states with anything as petty as a cold. I would never live it down.

So imagine my anxiety when I realized we were going to sea canoe in Phang Nga Bay! Not just a boat tour but canoeing into the limestone caves or “Hong” in Thai.
Don’t forget to face your fears…

 

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And of course, I can’t forget the food. All fresh and prepared onboard our boat for the day. Locally caught and sourced… The was basically canoe, eat, repeat for about 6 hours.IMG_E3950IMG_3953IMG_E3954IMG_3955IMG_3958

Fear will stop you from having amazing experiences and seeing things you would have never seen. It’s important to know while growth sounds exciting it is and will be uncomfortable. But from my experience, its always been worth it. IMG_9229

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TEN

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  1. Ella- Don’t wear your skirt so short. There’s a time and place for everything
  2. Catherine-Pull it together and don’t go in there acting a fool
  3. Dale- It’s been a long day at work and sometimes you need to unwind
  4. Don-Talk up, I can’t hear you. Have an opinion.
  5. The Twins (Venita & Veronica)- Be grateful for every experience.
  6. Pat- Eat Good FOOD! It takes a long time to make because its worth it.
  7. Ora-Take time to take care of yourself
  8. Marsha- Don’t be afraid to try something new
  9. Debra (my mama)-All you have is your name!
  10. Sandra-I have fun but I DO NOT PLAY!

 

I have 10 women who have impacted my life…Each one of them has made me into the Southern Fried City Girl I am today.

Inspired by the word of the day Ten. 

I should be a TV chick

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I have to admit, I love TV. I can really enjoy a good scripted comedy. I am not ashamed to say I’ve seen every episode of Sex and City and Girlfriends, I Watched Girls briefly (but I’m too old for that phase), BBC had an awesome show called Mistresses, and this list can go on and on.  While it makes for a good hour of meaningless, mind numbing escapism.  After several years of this indulgence, you start to believe that life should really imitate art. 

I should be able to walk around all day in 6 inch heals or meet my friends in the middle of the day for coffee or lunch.  I should be to work  9 hour day with no lunch breaks and still maintain a spotless home cook dinner for my husband in the same heels that I wore all day. 

These TV Chick’s never have to balance everything at the same time. Project deadlines, sorting the stack of bills of the table ( paying them is another post) , family drama, getting dinner on the table, buying groceries for the week, and the list can go one and one. I wish we could live our live in short segments and then just pause everything for a commercial break. When were ready life would just pick-up right where it left off. in 30 minutes everything has been resolved and anything left undressed can simply wait until next week. 

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Needless to say that version of the city girl I think I should be has never shown herself. I guess she’s in there somewhere buried under yoga pants or the dirty dishes in the sink. There’s a person in there than juggle life, look fabulous, and make it all look easy. This version of me would never appear on a sitcom. Maybe a drama and these days unfortunately a reality show. All things considered, this girl is pretty comfortable in her skin, certain of her likes and dislikes, young enough to enjoy good like but old enough to understand the consequences. 

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