On the Weigh Down & The Weight of it All

On the Weigh Down & The Weight of it All

Dec. 2012 I was at my best weight ever, 167. I didn’t know it then but I would take 35 steps backward in the wrong direction. OH, I wish I could back the time I spent trying to get off the last 7 lbs to get to my goal of 160. OH, I wish I could have just been happy with my progress and kept on to my next goal in life. What I didn’t know then is that after my week in Mexico showing off my new two-piece Body. I would come home to the news that my Auntie, my friend, my motivator, was losing her battle with breast cancer. If I remember correctly, Dec. 28th she died and her memorial Jan 5th would change the course of my life. Death takes a toll on your family that I can’t describe. People who use to talk don’t talk anymore. Things that were once habit become a memory. My aunt was 1 of 9 sisters and my mother and Aunt were very close #7 & #8, so when I talked to her I made very effort to sound up beat and strong. To console her. As 2013 pushed on I slowly put the weight back on. I decided I would do a mission trip to Africa. My aunt always wanted us to travel abroad and be cultured. I felt as if it was my way to capture her spirit and make her proud, by then I was 183 lbs.

August to October is kind of a blur. All I know was that I was working like crazy, my job role was constantly changing and I felt I wasn’t keeping up. I was up by 5am logged on and working on meeting project deadlines. By 7am cst the East coast clients were already up and sending emails. The email pace stayed steady until about 7pm when the West Coast called it quits for the work day.

By now I was 196 lbs. November came and I was feeling lost, overwhelmed, & extremely tired. I had a pursued a gut feeling to find out I was pregnant. After two years of trying, we were elated. I was either tired, nauseas, or hungry for the next 2 weeks. At 7 weeks we found out the pregnancy wasn’t viable and was terminating. Needless to say I ate all off my feelings day & night. I only took 3 days off work, including the day I was in hospital.

So now I’m here 202 lbs. I promised I would Never be here again. That I would NEVER put the weight back on. But the weight of life caught up with me and this is my reflection of the year I climbed the scale. Here’s to examining life on the weigh back down.