Every woman needs a shrink!

When your somebody’s wife & a little person’s mama there’s a filter that is necessary to navigate through life.

In fact, this filter extends to every woman who is just trying to make through her day and navigate a web of responsibilities.

I’m not a perfect person so I watch my swear words in front of the kids of course….But that’s not the filter I’m talking about.

This about saying what you want to say in the most out loud #nofilter way. Journaling, is the certainly a thing but it’s a one way conversation. Having a shrink, is such an empowering experience. For 50 minuets, it’s all about how to make you better. How to get out your own way.

Photo credit: She’s Gotta Have It -Netflix

There are so many people who don’t want to talk about mental health. But it’s not, optional. There a saying, that you can’t pour from an empty cup. So whether or not your nurturing your career, a relationship, friendships, or children, you DESERVE to have unbiased insight to help you thrive.

My first experience with a counseling was in college. Physiology 101, you got extra credit for every session you attended at the counseling center. This way Ph.D students could practice on you. Ok cool! Well after my about 10 minutes in the first session, The student said “ummm wait right here.” An older woman walked in and said “I’m going to be taking over from here.”

After about 5 sessions and 25 bonus points later, I had talked through my issues with father and I had never felt better. Of course, I needed more sessions but the semester was over.

I would tap into counseling services a couple more times while in college. When adulting kicked in, I quickly figured out how to use my mental health benefits at work.

Photo credit: Insecure - HBO

Here’s the thing, we all have our own brand of cray cray. Why exhaust the people you love with your rants. It’s cool for a while, but it gets old. Save yourself and the people you love and find someone to talk to.



I’m an artist, I have to tell the truth – Pearl Cleage

I love news magazine programs. 20/20, Dateline, Anderson 36o, and most of all Melissa Harris- Perry, Jeff Johnson, Don Lemon, and Soledad O’Brien.  On saturday mornings, I make a cup of coffee and settle in for a heated debate about society today. The issues plaguing the urban citizen or the lack of access for rural communities. But what I love most it the diversity of people sitting around the table. I picture myself begin some type of special guest discussing how this heated topics affects peoples lives on a daily basis.

In my own way, this my news desk. Accept there is no news just one long editorial segment.

I look at writing as a my way telling the truth. I try to see how our life experiences have have shaped the people we are, the person I am. I spend days in suits and around tables debating issues that may or may not matter after 5pm. When the computer comes on the screen stares back at me. I’m an artist, and I have to tell my truth.  The truth is, I want to debate all the ails of the world, but sometimes the work is just hilarious to me.   My family is enormous and ridiculously complicated. My job is madness and littered with political correctness, which basically still paints you in a conservative corner. My neighborhood is interesting to say the least. An interesting blend of the United Nations meets the South.

My truth tonight is to be true to myself, heart, and my needs. Who are you? What’s your truth?



Perfect Imperfection

So much time and effort is placed in relationships of all kinds: marriages, friendships, dating relationships, colleagues…whatever the case maybe. But no matter what we have, we constantly crave something that we don’t. Not that there’s anything wrong with the healthy relationships we nurture. In fact, we need relationships, “trusted advisors”. Proverbs 27:17 is very clear that “Iron sharpens iron”.  The best parts of someone can enrich your life in ways you have not predicted or even known possible.

As my Grandmother would say “tell the truth & shame the devil”. We, people of earth, for some reason seem to want what we can’t have, what we don’t need, what’s not good for us. People who aren’t married, want to be married. Unfortunately, some couples who are married, don’t want to be. People who know a lot of random people but can’t say they have any tried and true friends want that small intimate group to bond with. Likewise, people with close meaningful circles sometimes need a break. Responsibility laden folks long for days when there was no one to worry about but themselves. The footloose and fancy-free want somebody, ANYBODY, to need them. 

 Now, of course, some will say that they are the exception to the rule. Some in denial will say they are the exception to the rule. However, the cause of this dreadful illness is searching for the “Perfection” or the “Perfect Person.” The endless quest for perfection impedes our ability to experience happiness. True joy and contentment with the life we have and blessings we have been given.  

 Today a friend asked me about happiness. Her questions were straight forward and simple. 1)Has your definition of Happiness changed over time?  … 2) Do you think your definition of Happiness will change in the future? 

I encourage you to examine how you define your happiness. Accepting you are not a perfect person allows you to love the imperfections in others.  



*** Reviewed & Revised 8.2017 as a personal  Homage to my younger self.