Every woman needs a shrink!

When your somebody’s wife & a little person’s mama there’s a filter that is necessary to navigate through life.

In fact, this filter extends to every woman who is just trying to make through her day and navigate a web of responsibilities.

I’m not a perfect person so I watch my swear words in front of the kids of course….But that’s not the filter I’m talking about.

This about saying what you want to say in the most out loud #nofilter way. Journaling, is the certainly a thing but it’s a one way conversation. Having a shrink, is such an empowering experience. For 50 minuets, it’s all about how to make you better. How to get out your own way.

Photo credit: She’s Gotta Have It -Netflix

There are so many people who don’t want to talk about mental health. But it’s not, optional. There a saying, that you can’t pour from an empty cup. So whether or not your nurturing your career, a relationship, friendships, or children, you DESERVE to have unbiased insight to help you thrive.

My first experience with a counseling was in college. Physiology 101, you got extra credit for every session you attended at the counseling center. This way Ph.D students could practice on you. Ok cool! Well after my about 10 minutes in the first session, The student said “ummm wait right here.” An older woman walked in and said “I’m going to be taking over from here.”

After about 5 sessions and 25 bonus points later, I had talked through my issues with father and I had never felt better. Of course, I needed more sessions but the semester was over.

I would tap into counseling services a couple more times while in college. When adulting kicked in, I quickly figured out how to use my mental health benefits at work.

Photo credit: Insecure - HBO

Here’s the thing, we all have our own brand of cray cray. Why exhaust the people you love with your rants. It’s cool for a while, but it gets old. Save yourself and the people you love and find someone to talk to.



Scared, Nervous, and No Resolution in Sight

Many people use this time of year to reflect and make new promises about the future or what’s to come in the new year. I’m guilty, any other year I can easily reflect on mistakes and accomplishments and examine my flaws or strengths. I’m sure there’s post about it somewhere on this blog .

But this year feels different,  In 2015, I will venture into uncharted territory. This year I will take on a new role as a mother. I didn’t say it was uncharted for other people. I know what you may be thinking, ” Girl please, people have doing this since the beginning of time.” I get that.

In the spirit of being truly transparent, I’m incredibly type A and usually like to have a plan for what’s going on. In this case, I have no idea what to expect, no idea how my child “will turn out”, I basically have no idea what I’m doing. There’s a whole section in Barnes and Nobles on child rearing, so yea I could get a book on it. But is that really going to help? Of course not. No one knows my child, how my husbands personality plays apart in who they will become, how my own personality will shape the little one.

Frankly, I’m scared and a nervous wreck. I can play the list of “what if’s” a mile long. So I have no resolution for the new year, I have hope for a pain free Labor & Delivery  (with any luck the epidural will work as designed) and a prayer to be a mother that my Lord will be proud off, nurturing and patient.

My Funny Valentine

The first time I heard this song Chaka Khan grabbed my heart. The year was 1995 and I was 13. My mom and aunts had taken me to the movies to see Waiting to Exhale. Even at 13 they were teaching me  about the complexity of relationships. So my mom had officially approved the soundtrack for my young ears. My favorite at first,  was Brandy’s single Sitting Up in My Room. I could relate to that daydreaming about whatever boy was cute at the time.

When I got to Chaka’s track, I was mesmerized. I wanted the kind of love she was singing about. The passion, desperation, confusion, and sincerity. Even then I knew that was my destiny … a love that was infallible, beyond surface features, a love to make me “smile in my heart.”

Luckily, I’ve found it, captured it, and submitted to it. Be careful what you ask for. If you allow yourself to be happy, you will be. Allow yourself to love.