Something Happened

Today is my son’s first birthday. We had his party this past weekend so in my mind he has been 1 for a few days now.

Every night when i put him to sleep i hold him in the classic cradle hold. You know rock-a-bye-baby style. My little guy would wiggle a little bit and then drift off to sleep. But ever since he turned 1, he doesn’t want me to hold him. in fact he wiggle with so much force until I have to let him go. Then he wants to sit next to me like a big boy and prop his head on my boobs (or milk makers according to hubby).

I have nothing else to say on this matter. I’m devastated.

 

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Shout out to the Stay at Home Moms

Its the end of the year and my company has that policy where is you don’t use all your vacation days you loose them. So for the next 3 weeks I will be at home with my little guy. Just me and him, morning, noon, & night. Just uninterrupted mommy & baby time. Back in October I was so excited about this idea. My husband was like “yeah we can save a ton on daycare.”

I’m not complaining – just clarifying that I have a whole new appreciation for moms that stay at home with the little people.

The last person in my family that was a stay at home mom was my Grandmother circa 1960-something when my Aunt Sandra was born.

When Wes goes down for a nap I am literally running to do everything I couldn’t do when he was awake. Before I know it …nap is over and I’m back on the baby hamster wheel.

Yesterday my husband asked me to print something for his job. That required me to open my work emails. I spent a whole hour distracted by the same dreaded work that I could wait to get a way from.

I love my son but this time at home has also taught me that while I don’t always love my job… I love the outlet for my type A atttitude.IMG_0228

You are Not the Boss of Me

My child consumes my life.

I say that in a good way. Since my first day at my first “real” post college job I have given 110% to my career goals, grad school, saving, & all thing “grown up” life had in store for me.

But now after changing careers and scraping my way up the corporate ladder, I have a new boss.

He is very demanding and there are no excuses for late projects, he doesn’t tolerate tardiness, when he ask for something he wants it immediately no excuses.

I don’t get any bonuses for all the extra hours I’m putting in. He thinks this is a part of the job. Even at 2 am he calls me and expects me to answer with a pleasant tone.

And despite all of this i think about him all day and I can’t wait to get home and serve at his every beck and call.

My Son.

I never knew I was capable of loving someone so completely until the day I became a mother. Every hair on his little head, the wax in his little ears, & the cotton in between his little toes.

I know one day, I’ll revisit who I am and what this woman looks like, dreams about, next steps in life, and so on. But today my aspirations are simple.

To once and for all prove to my child that “you are not the boss of me” as I beg him to go back to sleep and let mommy sleep through the night.

XOXO

Tired Mommy

Tired parents, a baby, & Pandora

It’s about an 8 hour drive from Memphis to the beach on the Gulf Coast. For someone who grew up in Miami, I would consider this landlocked. I have no intentions of ever being being further away from a major body of water, but that’s another post.

On this trip we hooked up the Pandora and let randomness ensue. After listening to songs that ranged from early Ludacris, The Fugees, Jezzy, and Johnny Taylor we started talk about what music will our son listen to, how many songs today will really be iconic -score a memorable moment in your life.

By the time Maroon 5 and Alanis Morsette get into the mix- we can’t help but laugh about the fact when we really love good music regardless of genre it makes you sing out loud and completely rock out in your car – Shout out to Aerosmith that was all over the radio when I was in high school.

Anyway just a few random thoughts 2 hours from our destination.

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4 months and 2 days

My son has been in my life for exactly 4 months & 2 days. Its taken me that long to find the time to write. Really about all i’ve learned about being mother in such short time period. Actually, I only really have time to share this one thing with you: let the dishes pile up and get them later, you’ll have plenty of time for that….

 

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The “Newborn” Effect

In a way this is my attempt to capture a moment that to date is my greatest accomplishment, giving birth to a beautiful baby boy.

You find yourself staring at this child in awe of how perfect this little person is. You grow this person in your belly for 40 weeks (38 in this case) and then looking at you is a little mini person.

I’m still in awe at the miracle of childbirth, but the most amazing thing has been how my son has impacted my husband. I have to admit has always been kind and thoughtful, but that little guy has sprinkled a little something special over him.  To be clear its not just the way he holds and helps with the baby, I find he looks at me differently. There’s more light in his eyes a seduction in his smile. His hugs are more warm and touch lingers just a little while longer.

I never thought it was possible to love him anymore … to owe him more than I already do. I guess I can blame it on the newborn effect, wondering how long the haze will last.