Category: Family Life

I am Strong and Brave

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This particular Saturday morning, I’m looking at my 2-year-old son playing with puzzles and looks at me and said: “Mommy, this is too hard, but I got it.”

All parents have read about bed or morning routines. Even Daniel Tiger and Elmo have this covered. My family has always believed in the power of words or confessions. My mother confessed to my sister every morning: ” You are the head and not the tail, above only and not beneath.”  I believe (& think my SiSi would agree) that these words resonated in her mind when she wanted to throw in the towel.

Every night we pray for my son to be thankful for family, friends, and provisions. But additionally, I pray (out loud) for my son to be strong & brave. I never saw that world as a scary place until I became a mother. These glasses of parenting put a filter on everything as terrifying. Most importantly, I know the world will be unkind to a young black man. The joy he has today is delicate and needs to be preserved. I want to protect him, cover him, shield him… but I know I can’t. I can only pray that he always finds the strength to be joyous, strength to trust God and Strength to be brave enough to keep moving forward when the world will feel cold.

I guess, I never meant for this reflection to be so emotionally heavy. I am generally not that type of writer, but out of your heart flows the truth. Take the time to speak life over the children your world. Nieces, nephews, God-children,  neighbors, & friends every child deserves to hear that they are loved and amazing.

With Love;

Southern Fried Mommy

Never to Early for Dad Day 

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I started thinking about Father’s Day earlier than most because my hubby blew Mother’s Day out of the water this year. I’m talking fancy dinner, time alone without my son on my heels… the whole nine years.

So at this point I’m thinking, I need to get Father’s RIGHT! I’m a quite insulted when people just forget all about Father’s Day. It’s just not right! Good Father’s should be celebrated. Plus, when you celebrate bad Father’s they are certain to feel horribly and hopefully do better. At least your conscious will be clear.

My guy, who coincidentally doesn’t read my blog regularly (a shame right), is an  amazing husband and father.  I make that point so you know I’m not trying to get brownie points.

So many stories lean in to the awesomeness of mommies (and rightfully so), but dad’s are strong, fearless, providers, and comforters. My husbands peaceful demeanor is an amazing balance to my constant state of mental confusion.

He’s working full-time and taking classes at night. My 2yr old knows how to say “daddy at work.” It’s only a season and this sacrifice is hard on all of us. So I wanted to find books that portray ‘dad’ as the hero he really is.

I’ve included an amazing list of books that celebrate all things dad to share with your kids. Great children’s books about dads.

These are a few that I will be adding to his library:

This one is all about parents are cool people to. Think of it as a journey down memory lane before adulting.

As a creative soul, no collection is complete without a book of poetry.

 

Classic board book for toddlers and it makes a great bedtime story. All about Papa Bear and Baby Bear.

definitely for an older child with a better attention span than my 2 year old. You only have so many years to enjoy that active imagination. Why not read a book that taps into playing pretend AND reminds kids that dad is the real hero.

What are favorite books about dads? Any favs? Please share

Don’t Complain, You Brought This On Yourself”

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Every spring since we’ve been married I get so excited about gardening. I love the thought of gardening, I’m just no good at it.

I have tried believe me!  I know what your thinking ….”Just ask someone to sell you the flowers anyone can grow.”  Let’s just say, I’ve tried that and those flowers have died under my care as well. I use to be really hard on myself about this shortcoming since I pride myself on being well rounded.

My Grandma and even my husband’s Grandma would go one and one about how every woman needed and should keep a garden. You know tomatoes, cucumbers, the whole nine yards. I on the other hand never saw this for myself. My mother worked 2 jobs most of my childhood. So while I can shop the deals like nobody’s business, but you will not find me digging in the soil.

None the less, I like the idea of gardening. So without fail when spring comes around I proclaim “this year I will have a garden!”

Last year after my proclamation, I think the whole tray of flowers died before I could plant them. Granted it took me two week to get around to it. So yeah, they died right there in the garage on top of the old speaker box in the corner.

Spring 2017, this was going to be my year. However, before I could make my annual edict to garden more. My husband kindly invites outside to see the work he had done in the yard all weekend. This is usually when he lectures me on not over feeding the plants with miracle grow, or take a conference call outside from time to time to give the plants water, or even moving the potted plants out of the sun so they don’t bake like cookies.

As I  prepared my head to nod in agreement with his laundry list of gardening 101reminders,  I turn around to find POTTED FAKE FLOWERS!!!

Not just any flowers or flowers that would actually grown in pots but absurdities like magnolias that don’t even grow in pots. I was horrified ….

Before I could protest, he looked at me with that adorable cute face and stern eyes and said “don’t complain because you brought this on yourself and when you can show me you can actual grow something, I’ll take them out.”

SMH, my Grandma is rolling over in her grave!

 In fact one day the wind was high and the flowers were in the middle of the yard like memorial.  So what’s the lesson here? I have yet to figure that out.

I still have no motivation to garden but I’m still horrified by these fake flowers. 

I brought this on myself.

TEN

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  1. Ella- Don’t wear your skirt so short. There’s a time and place for everything
  2. Catherine-Pull it together and don’t go in there acting a fool
  3. Dale- It’s been a long day at work and sometimes you need to unwind
  4. Don-Talk up, I can’t hear you. Have an opinion.
  5. The Twins (Venita & Veronica)- Be grateful for every experience.
  6. Pat- Eat Good FOOD! It takes a long time to make because its worth it.
  7. Ora-Take time to take care of yourself
  8. Marsha- Don’t be afraid to try something new
  9. Debra (my mama)-All you have is your name!
  10. Sandra-I have fun but I DO NOT PLAY!

 

I have 10 women who have impacted my life…Each one of them has made me into the Southern Fried City Girl I am today.

Inspired by the word of the day Ten. 

Chickpea Cornbread

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I had decided to make a healthier version of a corn cake. Something tasty yet filling & easy for my baby to handle but tasty enough for my ol’ man to eat it.

As always I don’t work from recipe. Instead I read a lot various recipes & sample from a few to make something brand new.

I season the chickpeas, puree it with a little chicken broth, and an egg white and …. well now is where it gets tricky. In an attempt to keep it low fat i tried a few in the oven for an ‘oven baked’ effect. NO GOOD. Then I try a shallow fry in a just a touch of olive oil. FAIL.

Finally I pull out my cast iron skillet, add some coconut oil and fry the little patties & guess what? I basically just made hot water cornbread!! I guess success or failure is in the eye of the beholder.

 

Brutal Honesty

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I don’t know if you have a mother from the south, but if you don’t you are welcomed to share mine. You can’t have her because she’s an integral part of life, but she is open to spread her motherly love & advise.

As I have mentioned before in several places around this blog, I have a 7 other aunts that also have no trepidation about telling you how they feel.

This weekend my mom kept my little guy so I could get some much needed rest. AND rest I did at least I thought I did. Until I saw my mom and she kindly ( I’m being sarcastic) “Did you get some rest you look tired!” I was shocked but then realized she was so right.

I laid in bed but my mind was thinking about what i should deb doing instead of laying around. I caught up on my DVR but stared with hatred at the laundry baskets of clean clothes on the love seat just waiting to be tackled.

Some people would resent brutal honesty but in my family we live by a key rule ” If I can’t tell you the truth, who will? If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t say anything at all”

What Brutal Honesty have you received that was tough to hear but exactly what you needed.

 

updated 2.9.17 Criticize Word prompt of the day

8 years and counting

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This past March my husband & I celebrated 8 years of marriage. I’m blessed to know many people who have hit 8 years of marriage 8 years ago. Along the way we have had no shortage of highs and lows and time will tell us which one we’re in today. He finally cut the grass, so this week is definitely a high point!

My brother once told me “you guys are the couple no one wants to be around.”  At a barbecue a few years back a little girl asked me “do ya’ll ever fight? Do he ever get on your nerves? You always like him?” Although she was 8 or 9 years old at the time apparently we put of a different vibe.

There is no secret formula to a joyful marriage ( Note: NOT PERFECT marriage). We have no time to be two different people in public than we are in private.

Over the weekend, we attended a marriage small group and during that time we talked about how to fight fair. I was reminded not to let small things build up and create a foothold in your marriage. Mario & I are very blessed that in the beginning of our marriage we attended a church that focused on young couples and helped us to have an open line of communication. We learned very early in our relationship to separate the “business” of running a home from the love that it takes to build it. Something that has stayed with us and taken us this far is to “try to out love your spouse.”  Ask yourself, “what have I done to  bless my spouse today?”

I believe that when you make your marriage your ministry, your spouse is a reflection of your best self.

 

 

 

 

Well, lets talk shoes…

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Not my shoes, my husband’s shoes.

My grandmother told me “don’t bother with man that wears cheap shoes. If doesn’t put shoes on his feet, he wont’s put shoes on yours.”

Well, this may have really taken hold of me b/c my husband is a sneaker head. If you don’t know what that is, this means he is all about the latest shoe trends, styles, new material combinations, etc. You could venture to say he is a super fan of sneakers.

The problem is he wears a size 13 so the sneakers have taken OVER our closet, our bedroom, and they are making there way rapidly to the hallway.

I have no idea what to do. He’s colossal shoes are everywhere…. I have no resolution for this. Just a vent of a wife doing her best not to trip over shoes in the middle of the night.

My guess is Write Anything Wednesday challenge won’t see this one coming 🙂 !

Happy Reading

Something Happened

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Today is my son’s first birthday. We had his party this past weekend so in my mind he has been 1 for a few days now.

Every night when i put him to sleep i hold him in the classic cradle hold. You know rock-a-bye-baby style. My little guy would wiggle a little bit and then drift off to sleep. But ever since he turned 1, he doesn’t want me to hold him. in fact he wiggle with so much force until I have to let him go. Then he wants to sit next to me like a big boy and prop his head on my boobs (or milk makers according to hubby).

I have nothing else to say on this matter. I’m devastated.

 

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