Don’t Complain, You Brought This On Yourself”

Every spring since we’ve been married I get so excited about gardening. I love the thought of gardening, I’m just no good at it.

I have tried believe me!  I know what your thinking ….”Just ask someone to sell you the flowers anyone can grow.”  Let’s just say, I’ve tried that and those flowers have died under my care as well. I use to be really hard on myself about this shortcoming since I pride myself on being well rounded.

My Grandma and even my husband’s Grandma would go one and one about how every woman needed and should keep a garden. You know tomatoes, cucumbers, the whole nine yards. I on the other hand never saw this for myself. My mother worked 2 jobs most of my childhood. So while I can shop the deals like nobody’s business, but you will not find me digging in the soil.

None the less, I like the idea of gardening. So without fail when spring comes around I proclaim “this year I will have a garden!”

Last year after my proclamation, I think the whole tray of flowers died before I could plant them. Granted it took me two week to get around to it. So yeah, they died right there in the garage on top of the old speaker box in the corner.

Spring 2017, this was going to be my year. However, before I could make my annual edict to garden more. My husband kindly invites outside to see the work he had done in the yard all weekend. This is usually when he lectures me on not over feeding the plants with miracle grow, or take a conference call outside from time to time to give the plants water, or even moving the potted plants out of the sun so they don’t bake like cookies.

As I  prepared my head to nod in agreement with his laundry list of gardening 101reminders,  I turn around to find POTTED FAKE FLOWERS!!!

Not just any flowers or flowers that would actually grown in pots but absurdities like magnolias that don’t even grow in pots. I was horrified ….

Before I could protest, he looked at me with that adorable cute face and stern eyes and said “don’t complain because you brought this on yourself and when you can show me you can actual grow something, I’ll take them out.”

SMH, my Grandma is rolling over in her grave!

 In fact one day the wind was high and the flowers were in the middle of the yard like memorial.  So what’s the lesson here? I have yet to figure that out.

I still have no motivation to garden but I’m still horrified by these fake flowers. 

I brought this on myself.

Gyro Fries? Yes Please!

I’m so proud of my little sitter. She’s pretty awesome, but like most millennials she doesn’t see how amazing she really is. Although she doesn’t see her self as a foodie (like her big sis), Liv has managed to find an amazing little bar in Silver Springs, MD.

Of course there are hot wings but this one concoction of old bay & lime is pretty amazing. Its perfectly salty & slightly spicy- paired with a Shock Top (buy 1 get 1). It was a pretty successful happy hour.

Then the bartender suggested the gyro fries. There was brief silence as we both looked at each other & replied ” yes please! we’ll have one of those”!

My sissy made me proud when she said in her very southern pleasantries ” Sir when you bring those fries, another ’round please? … and you can bring the check. Thank you so much (insert smile)”

A girl after my own heart.

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Chess Pie – A Southern Staple

To close out 2015 and make good use of my vacation time, I decided to bake  my friends & neighbors pies as Christmas gifts and a way to share some cheer.

Chess pie sometimes called buttermilk pie was on the list. Why? because sugar makes every one happy and any pie with 2 cups sugar is sure to make you happy!

This was my first attempt at it and I really thought I had failed. The color wasn’t perfect and my custard did not raise as high as I would have liked.

But my neighbor was so complimentary. In fact he told us he had been looking for this pie for years and no one new what it was called or where to find it. He had tried all the freezer sections looking for it.

Despite my own disappointment with my 1st attempt, I had the courage to share it anyway and the result was better than expected. 🙂

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Culture

Brutal Honesty

I don’t know if you have a mother from the south, but if you don’t you are welcomed to share mine. You can’t have her because she’s an integral part of life, but she is open to spread her motherly love & advise.

As I have mentioned before in several places around this blog, I have a 7 other aunts that also have no trepidation about telling you how they feel.

This weekend my mom kept my little guy so I could get some much needed rest. AND rest I did at least I thought I did. Until I saw my mom and she kindly ( I’m being sarcastic) “Did you get some rest you look tired!” I was shocked but then realized she was so right.

I laid in bed but my mind was thinking about what i should deb doing instead of laying around. I caught up on my DVR but stared with hatred at the laundry baskets of clean clothes on the love seat just waiting to be tackled.

Some people would resent brutal honesty but in my family we live by a key rule ” If I can’t tell you the truth, who will? If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t say anything at all”

What Brutal Honesty have you received that was tough to hear but exactly what you needed.

 

updated 2.9.17 Criticize Word prompt of the day

The Travel Dilemma

My mother sister and I have had the most horrible time trying to decide where to celebrate my sisters college graduation.

My mother has all types of stipulations she will not fly too long or go any where too cold. She spent her tears and early twenties in Miami so she has no interest in going to the caribbean. not to mention the fact that she believes only couples should travel to beaches so beautiful.

Being the discount diva I am, I suggested Mexico. The travel deals come a dime a dozen all across the internet. However, both my sister & my mother refuse to go to Mexico. Mostly because of El Chapo or just plain silliness. Not to mention neither have any interest in cruising ( you can thank the onboard illness breakouts a few years ago).

So where was left .. I ad no idea. This entire travel dilemma came about b/c I did not want to go to Disney World again on my grown up time off. Now I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, but growing up in FL we went to Disney and other attractions  A LOT ( thank you FL resident discount). Now that I have a child I see many trips in my future. So I would like to spend my time & very scarce money on a more grown up trip.

So where have we decided to go ….. New Orleans! Home of the grown-up good time. No thrill rides needed.

 

Shout out to the Stay at Home Moms

Its the end of the year and my company has that policy where is you don’t use all your vacation days you loose them. So for the next 3 weeks I will be at home with my little guy. Just me and him, morning, noon, & night. Just uninterrupted mommy & baby time. Back in October I was so excited about this idea. My husband was like “yeah we can save a ton on daycare.”

I’m not complaining – just clarifying that I have a whole new appreciation for moms that stay at home with the little people.

The last person in my family that was a stay at home mom was my Grandmother circa 1960-something when my Aunt Sandra was born.

When Wes goes down for a nap I am literally running to do everything I couldn’t do when he was awake. Before I know it …nap is over and I’m back on the baby hamster wheel.

Yesterday my husband asked me to print something for his job. That required me to open my work emails. I spent a whole hour distracted by the same dreaded work that I could wait to get a way from.

I love my son but this time at home has also taught me that while I don’t always love my job… I love the outlet for my type A atttitude.IMG_0228

The background check …

After 4 months of working with the agency to become a certified foster home we finally received our certificate a week ago. The weeks of classes and endless paper work was not the part that disturbed me most. It was the background check. Not the standard run of the mill background check but “if its out there we will find it” type of check.

Its not like we have a secrete life or anything worth hiding but its the thought the every logistical detail of your life can be narrowed down to 2-3 pages of information. Think about it, your whole life in a small manilla folder. Our trainer could help but mention “Ms. Davis ya’ll have moved around a lot” ” and ya’ll do have a ton of tickets.”

Every place I’ve lived in my life I know it very well. I can tell you where I was in my life and what i enjoyed most about that place and time. Most importantly,I remember how the younger me was a complete mess.

The background check doesn’t have a section for character or a place to put the narrative of life. There’s no where to explain that all the tickets I received were on the way to work , which was 45min from where I lived in the next county over. I left my 1st job at 4pm to be at my next job by 5pm back in the town where I lived.

There’s no where to explain that after we were married my husband got a job out of town and every weekend we drove back & forth to see each other for the first 4mths of our marriage. So yeah, I got a few tickets in the process of trying to get from A to B.

But the great state of MS doesn’t have a commuter train.

I’m an artist, I have to tell the truth – Pearl Cleage

I love news magazine programs. 20/20, Dateline, Anderson 36o, and most of all Melissa Harris- Perry, Jeff Johnson, Don Lemon, and Soledad O’Brien.  On saturday mornings, I make a cup of coffee and settle in for a heated debate about society today. The issues plaguing the urban citizen or the lack of access for rural communities. But what I love most it the diversity of people sitting around the table. I picture myself begin some type of special guest discussing how this heated topics affects peoples lives on a daily basis.

In my own way, this my news desk. Accept there is no news just one long editorial segment.

I look at writing as a my way telling the truth. I try to see how our life experiences have have shaped the people we are, the person I am. I spend days in suits and around tables debating issues that may or may not matter after 5pm. When the computer comes on the screen stares back at me. I’m an artist, and I have to tell my truth.  The truth is, I want to debate all the ails of the world, but sometimes the work is just hilarious to me.   My family is enormous and ridiculously complicated. My job is madness and littered with political correctness, which basically still paints you in a conservative corner. My neighborhood is interesting to say the least. An interesting blend of the United Nations meets the South.

My truth tonight is to be true to myself, heart, and my needs. Who are you? What’s your truth?

 

 

My Funny Valentine

The first time I heard this song Chaka Khan grabbed my heart. The year was 1995 and I was 13. My mom and aunts had taken me to the movies to see Waiting to Exhale. Even at 13 they were teaching me  about the complexity of relationships. So my mom had officially approved the soundtrack for my young ears. My favorite at first,  was Brandy’s single Sitting Up in My Room. I could relate to that daydreaming about whatever boy was cute at the time.

When I got to Chaka’s track, I was mesmerized. I wanted the kind of love she was singing about. The passion, desperation, confusion, and sincerity. Even then I knew that was my destiny … a love that was infallible, beyond surface features, a love to make me “smile in my heart.”

Luckily, I’ve found it, captured it, and submitted to it. Be careful what you ask for. If you allow yourself to be happy, you will be. Allow yourself to love.

How to gauge a year…

Many people gauge their lives by how much they accomplish or what they own. But at the beginning of another year 30 days out from a resolution it makes me wonder how do you gauge a year.

For me its not the 365 from 1/1 to 12/31 but its the 365 between my birthdays. I have realized that i find my self saying thing like ” yea 21 was really good to me.” or ” I’m kinda over 27 what’s next.”   It took me 30 years to get to Africa and I wonder how I ever waited that long to go. So now at 31 I often wake up with Africa on my mind. Wondering how long it will be until I can go back.

The country girl in me says you know life is pretty great all things considered. I know people who have never left the neighborhood they grew up in. At least I own a passport.

But the city girl in me says what have I only left the country once. Why didn’t join the peace corp after high school or take  a gap year (like I really knew what a gap year was when I was 17). Flights would be so much cheaper if I lived in a larger city but no matter what a $2500 flight is still hard to come by.

Anyway for most people they have that great feeling about a new year a sense of renewal. I didn’t feel that way on January 1st 2014 but I’m hoping that 31 turns around for me soon because so far I have no idea how to gauge this year.