Many people use this time of year to reflect and make new promises about the future or what’s to come in the new year. I’m guilty, any other year I can easily reflect on mistakes and accomplishments and examine my flaws or strengths. I’m sure there’s post about it somewhere on this blog .

But this year feels different,  In 2015, I will venture into uncharted territory. This year I will take on a new role as a mother. I didn’t say it was uncharted for other people. I know what you may be thinking, ” Girl please, people have doing this since the beginning of time.” I get that.

In the spirit of being truly transparent, I’m incredibly type A and usually like to have a plan for what’s going on. In this case, I have no idea what to expect, no idea how my child “will turn out”, I basically have no idea what I’m doing. There’s a whole section in Barnes and Nobles on child rearing, so yea I could get a book on it. But is that really going to help? Of course not. No one knows my child, how my husbands personality plays apart in who they will become, how my own personality will shape the little one.

Frankly, I’m scared and a nervous wreck. I can play the list of “what if’s” a mile long. So I have no resolution for the new year, I have hope for a pain free Labor & Delivery  (with any luck the epidural will work as designed) and a prayer to be a mother that my Lord will be proud off, nurturing and patient.