My Auntie called me today. We spoke briefly about her birthday and plans for the rest of the day and then she shared her blog with me. Heart felt sentiments rooted in scripture but written so clearly from a place of truth.
The timing of this conversation was so striking because over this week I constantly struggled with sadness, hopelessness, fear, and disappointment. So much so, my husband circled around me constantly asking if I would be ok. My mouth said I would be but I couldn’t shake the pain in my mind.
Responsibility & Grief don’t mix well together. Unfortunately, they complement each other. Life’s responsibilities force you not to succumb to the grief in a way that makes you unable to make ends meet, cook dinner, pay the bills. The opposite side of that picture of strength is when emails stop and its finally 5pm on every coast. Its then only God’s love can hold you near and provide comfort for your tears.
This afternoon my Auntie, just calling to say hello, spoke hope into my life. I was struggling to pull myself together and then the phone rang.
A Place for Rest
I need you to protect me for a while. I need enough time to rest and regroup. The world is cold, cruel and unbending, let me lie under your wings and feel the warmth of real love that will make me stronger. I trust that when I am strong enough to go back out into the world, you will let me know. Your strength will be my strength.
-Ingrad Smith